It happens all of the time. I will be scrolling through facebook reading random posts about people’s good fortunes or burnt dinners and looking at selfies of people who clearly love themselves…. when I see a post about someone with cancer. My heart stops for a moment, I feel sorrow for the family and I may say a quick, “Jesus, please be with them during this difficult time” prayer, or even write an encouraging Bible verse on their timeline so they know I was thinking about them. And then something happens….my life goes on. I continue my day, play with my children, pin another pinterest crock pot recipe that I will never make, and all is well. Cancer may be something that goes away for me when I log out of facebook, but unfortunately for the lives of those with cancer and their families…it doesn’t go away with a swipe of a finger. Cancer is alive and it has a face….and right now to me, it’s the face of my Uncle Rick.
My Uncle found out he had cancer this past September, right before he walked his beautiful daughter down the isle to say “I do”. Just a few days after the wedding, he had one kidney removed and hopes were high that all of the cancer was gone. After some testing, they found it was a rare renal cancer and it had spread to my Uncle’s brain. This news would have most people waiving their white flags in surrender, but my Uncle is a fighter…and he is fighting still today.
(This image was taken on Katie’s wedding day after giving her dad a card {it must have been a Hallmark card}….it was hard to keep my camera steady. What a beautiful, absolutely perfect day….)
If anyone has gone through cancer, you know it’s a roller coaster ride of scary twists and turns, good news, bad new…uncertainty. My Uncle’s cancer not only affects him…but everyone around him. He’s not only my Uncle, he is a son, a brother, a husband, and a father. For the last forty years he has been beside my Aunt Janet…he’s her best friend. I can’t even imagine what she is going through, the thoughts that fill her head when she sits still, the conversations she has had to have with him about the future. Worrying about the unknown, about waking up in the middle of the night with no one to wrap her cold feet around, about how she will survive a week, let alone a day without him. It makes me want to climb the highest mountain, throw my hands in the air and scream until I’m hoarse, begging God to make every one’s pain go away.
I think about my cousin Katie…how she puts on a cheerful face and plays with my daughter, when in the back of her mind she is probably thinking, “What if my dad isn’t here to see his own grand babies? Who will read them their favorite story? Who will sneak them treats when I’m not looking, kiss their boo boos and let them stay up late?”
I think about my cousin Parker and how his heart must be hurting…worrying about if he will have to be the man of the house and take care of his mom. I think about my Uncle’s father and how helpless he must feel, worrying if he will have to say goodbye to his only son.
One thing that struck me this weekend as I visited with my family, was that even though they are worried, even though they are scared…they have such an undeniable hope. They are still able to laugh and find the joy in things that would make most people cry. For instance, my Uncle is losing his hair to radiation, so my Aunt thought she would use a lint roller on his head to see if it would help with the shedding….c’mon, you can’t help but giggle a little bit.
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